partner can restore an intimate, connected life together. But it will take work. And, you may benefit from a guide who can lead you down the most scientifically-validated path to relationship growth and renewal.
There are a number of reasons couples seek treatment, such as:
• Struggling with maintaining a sense of friendship, especially as life gets more hectic, such as after having children. It is easy for couples to feel as though they are living parallel lives, more like roommates, rarely intersecting, hyperfocusing on their kids or careers.
• The desire to break-through a gridlocked problem, a problem you just can not seem to resolve on your own. Working with a neutral person to help you talk through the issue in a more constructive way can help you make progress.
• A breach of trust in the relationship, such as a physical or emotional affair. It is hard to imagine how life can ever be the same. Helping couples heal and reconnect can make the difference between staying together and divorcing.
• Sexual problems such as low desire/arousal, erectile problems, and orgasmic difficulties. Couples find it hard to openly talk about sex and can benefit from a comfortable space to talk about it and to learn effective ways to move towards the desired goals.
I begin with a thorough assessment to uncover your strengths as a couple to help us work through the problem areas within the relationship. Flowing from the assessment, together we will formulate a treatment plan that directly addresses your concerns using proven techniques. I strive to demystify foundational relationship skills so that by the end of treatment you (as a couple) have a greater sense of mastery over your communication and problem-solving skills within your relationship.
Many couples worry that couples counseling is going to make the situation worse. Often, people would rather not talk about the issues once the crisis seems to have smoothed over somehow. While it is true that sometimes things get worse before they get better in treatment, many of the issues people seek to address rarely get better without treatment. What I particularly like about the Gottman Method is the structure it provides, moving partners away from using unhelpful strategies in session (such as criticism, blaming, name-calling) and towards more helpful ways of talking about and resolving issues. The treatment is designed to teach you foundational skills that can have long-lasting effects by maintaining a dyadic approach, meaning you will be coached while talking to each other rather than talking through me as a mediator. The goal is for you not to need me over time.
Somewhere along the way, you lost connection. The hectic pace of life, responsibilities at home and work, and subtle but compounding changes in interests and desires brought you to a place where your partner is merely a housemate. You don’t talk much or have sex anymore. You don’t laugh or have fun together. You ask yourself, “Is this all there is?” “Should we split up?”
If this describes your unsatisfying journey, you are not alone. Many couples end up here. The good news is that it is repairable. You and your